Lay me down

First of all , I'm not a lesbian/gay, But this song made me sad
The sadness fill up my entire room and my whole body.

Well few weeks ago i meet a guy through online chat app.( He's also the first guy I try to meet up after many weeks of chatting and phone calling)

Luckily he's a good man...( For sure)

But somehow i felt that after we meet up yesterday(Friday), everything change.

My heart pounding so hard when i saw him..(Indeed, he's quite handsome... no ... is almost perfect!)
and I'm too shy to tell that "Ya, actually i like you too...."

I felt that he's too perfect ... way too perfect.....
That made me felt I'm not that girl for him..
I felt that people around him are way too prettier...

Is true that my self-confident are low... too low...
he's way much better...

I felt like...... I'm.... I'm.......too rely on anyone who treat me good...
too rely on someone...

i had a feeling this won't work if i keep on think on those negative tough..

yes, i do have feeling on you...
you're like someone that i never ever can have in my life...
it just look like a dream... a perfect dream...

i know I'm still in the progress of letting the pass ...
i know i need to face it soon and soon...

and I'm a over-protective person...
I'm a super duper stubborn person...
I'm a very emotional person...
I'm a person who can think a lot of nonsense...
a person who need someone so much like when I'm falling in live with you I'll try my best
to match you.. try my best to get as near as i can to you..

I'm willing to commit  all of me...

you made me confuse, butterflies in stomach , shy, loneliness , heart attack, loved, imperfection
and more...

i hope you can read it... i hope you feel me...

"i'm missing you like crazy... -- Sam Smith"

2015.01.14

Today mom cooked fried rice...

mmm so nice...

homemade always the best..

today finally i decide the "client" for my design subject..

Netccentric - Nuffnung etc...

I feel like I'm one step closer to you

it make me happy and i miss you

I choose this as my client because i been to their office before and honestly i don't like it

it so yellowish made me feel dizzy

although is made people feel energetic but sometimes we need to relax ;)

and i will change your office design :)

sorry to the boss..haha

hope the result is good and one day you might saw my design and find me to help you :)

and suddenly 

yup

this music represent my mood today

goodnight to you

and i miss you so much ;')

2015.01.13

Hola! A late night post.. again..

So what was I doing for this few days...
I was doing a lot of research for my design subject..
We need to choose a "client " and help them design their place...
This time is workplace design.. yeah.. *sob sob *
Is fun when you get into their company and found out integrating stuff like "wow! It's was a huge company! "

So I provide two option for tomorrow tutorial..
First Neccentric Pte Ltd they have a lot sub company such as nuffnang, reelity. Tv,  churp churp, nom nom media and more...at start I taught nuffnung is the main company lol which is not... Hahaha Sorry guys *
Second Vogue magazine... Hmm...It's very OBVIOUS everyone know...

So...wish me luck and goodnight ; )

2015.01.11

It was a late night post

Just finished watch 200 pounds beauty
It's a Good movie to tell yourself "be the one who you are No matter how you change " and let the true love come back

Sometimes you change is because you wanna be better for someone or yourself
You wanna be a better person, learn from your mistake .

Someone will tell you not to change, But at the meantime they choose to leave you
It's a human personality
They Won't appreciate from you including yourself
Don't blame them Don't hate them
Because you also one of them

…………………………………………………………………………

This is my first interior colour render for this year
Still working out to render it well

Sometimes

Sometimes I just want to go out far and be alone
Sometimes I just want to be a homeless person
Sometimes I just want to be forgotten
Sometimes I wish

Yup the age will effect everything's
Your thinking
Your health
Your temper
Your personality
Yourself

Sometimes I wish I have the door which can bring me anywhere or I'm a jumper

You just inspired me
You gave me the dream that one day I can travel alone or with you

Sometimes I wish

Worst

I just got a weird feeling
I Actually have a worst After -breakup feeling ever...
Is it the way I can't accept??  Or what?
It's feel like something gone or what...
It is really true that we are not the one?
The feeling is so weird!
Also is so Shit!! 
And I can't even described it..

想你的夜

一个月过了，心情虽然是好了一些。。但还是那个想念还在。。还是会很想念。。

每当想哭时都会很努力的不让自己哭。。虽然还是会流下一些眼泪。。虽然还是会忍到发抖。。

那种种的画面依然还在脑海里不停的翻阅着。。好像在告诉我“加油！别放弃！还有机会的！”似的。。

很克制着。。。

还能看到他的影子。。

还能闻到他的香气。。

还能梦到与他的未来。。

还能感觉得到他的存在。。

我也知道家人都很关心我。。很努力的让我开心。。真的很感动。。

我也很努力的在他们面前微笑。。大笑。。傻笑。。开心。。 很努力很努力。。

不知怎么形容。。。。。

我真的还在等他。。

等他回来。。

相信他会回来。。。